ST PATRICK'S DAY

How to Become a Saint

Oonah V Joslin

Paddy sat on Slemish 

watching the mist roll down

into the Braid Valley

ever raining on the town.

He didn't like the townsfolk

a thick, unfriendly lot

their charity was just a joke

they could go to hell and rot.

Then a suddenly shaft of light

pierced the bitter air,

Hey Paddy says the angel

that's God's own land down there.

You're sitting up here all alone

when you could be making friends.

Go talk to people in town --

go down and make amends.

So Paddy left the mountain top

and went down to Broughshane

and there they gave him ale and bread

til he was himself again.

The ale was good -- he stayed so long

he started seeing snakes.

I'll just get rid of these for you.

They laughed behind his back.

He'd ha' been better maybe

staying up on that hill.

The drink's addled his brains they said.

Aye thon man's very ill. 

He started seeing leprechauns

towards the end of lent

but because of all these 'visions'

they named him patron saint.

And so it is on Paddy's Day 

the Irish, always sinners,

follow in St Patrick's ways

with Bushmills and with Guinness.