Blog of Oonah V Joslin -- please visit my Parallel Oonahverse at WordPress

where I post stories and poems that have not been seen elsewhere - also recipes and various other stuff. http://oovj.wordpress.com/

and see me At the Cumberland Arms 2011









Thursday 3 December 2020

A bunch of Christmas Thoughts 2020 Dec 3rd -- Making a List, Checking it Twice...

Of course there is some shopping we all have to do. Most of ours these days is done online and by delivery and I would just like to say that dairies, bakeries, butchers and grocers, the supermarket shoppers and delivery men have done us proud this year! Huge thank you to all who have come to our door bringing what we need with a cheery smile and a kind word.


To those of you who go to the supermarket in person, and especially at Christmas, my advice is that a shopping list is essential and I always make one -- although I don't always remember to take it with me and -- Well read all about it 😁 True story!

The Customer's Always Right 


Lists are my habit.

I go to the store

armed with a list

so I'm always sure

to get only the items

that I really need.


I stand in the aisle

checking my list

tick fruit, dairy, store-cupboard,

so far nothing missed;

drinks, frozen, household,

I push on with purpose

past the disarray

of others' – indecisions.

I observe them with dismay

and superior derision,

smug in my superiority of vision.

Who didn't bring a list today?


I arrive at miscellaneous,

a category I've devised

for those unaccustomed items

one occasionally buys.

I stop and stare

at the scrawl on my list.

What the hell does that say?

Am I mad?

Was I pissed?


Well – the paper is wrinkled and scruffy at this stage.

And my writing's becoming less legible with age.

And my eyesight is not what used to be.

If I put on my glasses I'll read it easily.


So I fumble my glasses onto my face and squint.

I had to need this

what-ever-it-is.

Could it be clothes prop?

or chocolate biscuits?

No the first word's too long and the second's too short

Selectable progs?

Delectable hogs?

Eclectic drops?

and I think and I squint

but I have to abort.


At the check-out the assistant asks politely

Did you get everything you wanted today?


All except for the electric frogs, I say.


Excuse me?


You don't seem to have any electric frogs!


I show her the item right there on my list.


Electric frogs, she reads. Do you know what it is?


Not a clue. I answer.

But I looked and looked and you don't have any

so I have a good mind to complain to the manager!