Blog of Oonah V Joslin -- please visit my Parallel Oonahverse at WordPress

where I post stories and poems that have not been seen elsewhere - also recipes and various other stuff. http://oovj.wordpress.com/

and see me At the Cumberland Arms 2011









Monday, 7 December 2020

A bunch of Christmas Thoughts 2020 Dec 7th -- Notre Dame de Little Lessing

 I watched a programme the other week about how the renovations at Notre Dame are going. It was fascinating. They were using every available means from 3D photographs to denrdrochronology to gather information on how to go about their task -- multidisciplinary teams all working together, scientists, artists, masons and carpenters using modern technologies to solve retro-architectural problems. The entire site is contaminated because of the leading of the roof. Protective gear has to be worn for all tasks. I hope they do an update soon because I love that stuff!!


Well Simon and Reggie here, don't have quite that scale of problem but hey-- they're doing their best anyway! Give them some appreciation.


Reformation


“Are there any photographs of the window?”

“Not that I know of. We can put an appeal out in the local media but this place wasn’t used for years.”

“Architectural specs?”

“Pardon?”

“Blue prints.”

“We could look in the local library.”

“That burnt down years ago. All the records were destroyed.”

“Microfiche?”

“Don’t know where that’d be. The Little Lessing Herald clo...”

“closed years ago, I get the picture.”

“Actually I don’t think anyone has the picture any more.”

“Mmmm this isn’t really a matter of conservation then,” said Reggie.

“No, more renovation.”

“Reclamation?”

“Re-formation.”

“Okay so we’ll wing it. It’ll be like doing a jigsaw puzzle without the box. Fun.”


Simon and Reggie had never taken on such a task before. Mostly they had to replace a few pieces of stained glass, take a window down and clean it, repair some of the lead framework but this was a mess. How to proceed?


“So – you collect all the straight bits and arched pieces that look like the window shape and I’ll gather all the rest and we’ll do our best to make some kind of framework that would fit the original window size.”

“Seems a fair enough place to begin.”

“At least we’re singing from the same hymn sheet,” said Simon.


It took months but Simon and Reggie were quite pleased with the result. Some of the pieces of glass that hadn’t been too burned even fitted into the leads. Admittedly the fire had twisted some of the framework but it made sense and slowly began to take shape. The central figure in white looked – familiar. The bottom right corner however was completely missing. It was also within their remit to customise glass for that missing corner but first they had to know what the missing piece might be.

They soldered in a strip of lead to hold it all together so they could fit it into place in the apse to properly assess how far they’d come with the work. They stood back to admire their work.


“Is that what it’s supposed to look like?” asked Reggie

“Search me,” Simon said.


As light flooded in, the central figure shone at last in all his glory out of the renovated window and it became clear what was missing from the piece. The main figure was obviously looking down towards someone he loved, perhaps a beloved friend. Reggie and Simon looked at each other and as one voice they said what the other was thinking.


“Woodstock!” they chimed. And Reggie swears to this day that at this point, he looked up and saw Snoopy smile.




Sunday, 6 December 2020

A bunch of Christmas Thoughts 2020 Dec 6th

 Just a sweet little story for you today.

Santa in Space


Ben snuggled into his sleep-pouch. Mum made sure the Velcro was tight. “We don’t want you floating off into the night,” she said.

Ben liked living on a space station. It was fun watching the world from above, drinking round balls of juice and playing with the other five children on board but Ben missed some things. It never snows in space.

“Mum.”

“What sweetheart?”

“Does Santa know we’re here?”

“Oh, I think so.”

“Can his reindeer fly through space?”

“Um, we’ll have to ask your father that one.”

“Should I write to Santa, just in case?”

“We’ll do that tomorrow, Ben; just in case. You go sleepy byes now.” Jane tucked teddy in and kissed them both goodnight.


“Tom.”

“Mmmm?” Ben’s daddy was always working.

“Ben asked me a question I didn’t know the answer to.”

“Really?”

“Can reindeer fly in space?”

“Oh. Now that IS a question.” He actually turned away from the consol.

“I said you’d know.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, I think.”

“Well I didn’t know what to say. I promised we’d write tomorrow and make sure Santa knows we’re here.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“But then what?” She folded her arms and waited.

Tom looked blank. “It’s just something I hadn’t remotely taken into account.”

“Remotely – good word.”

“I’ll ask the other families what they’re doing.”

“We’re a multicultural crew, Tom. They probably don’t even celebrate Christmas.”


Turned out Jane was right. There wasn’t a supply rocket due until January.

“We’re scientists,” said Tom. “Remember? We deal in rational thought and empirical data. We should just tell him the truth.”

Jane glared at him.

“-- that Santa simply -- can’t make it this far.”

“You tell him then!” Jane flounced off.


What was he supposed to do? Tom hit on the idea of composing an email from Santa so that Ben wouldn’t be too shattered.


Dear Ben,

I hope you are enjoying life up there on Earth Orbiter. I’m sorry that my reindeer can’t fly that high but we will drop by your house as usual and leave some presents there.

I want you to know that you are very special and a good boy!

Merry Christmas,

Santa.


But he kept stalling. No need to cross the bridge ‘til you come to it.


It was the 20th December. Everyone was asleep when a sudden noise woke them. It sounded like a light collision. Maybe a small piece of space junk.

“Probably nothing to worry about” said Tom.

A few minutes later, another noise.

“I’ll maybe check on Ben,” he said. “Computer, lights.”


Ben was safe and sound but there on the wall by his pouch, a small sack was hanging and an array of toys spilling out: a shiny painted spiral spinning top, a set of LED yoyos, a little model of the space station and a compendium of magnetic board games.

“Jane!?”

“Don’t look at me,” she said.

“Oooooo Santa’s been!” cried Ben excitedly as he slid out of his pouch. “He came early, just for me!”

The communications screen lit up. It seemed Santa had paid a visit to all the families on the station and he hadn’t forgotten the adults either. In the galley they found a cooked turkey and all the trimmings; even sweets and cake. They’d all be able to get together for a midwinter feast. Everyone could celebrate midwinter.


Tom went to check telemetry.

“Do you see anything, Tom?” said Jane.

“See? No. But readings indicate that a very small craft has just re-entered Earth’s atmosphere from this heading,” he said and scratched his head. “I’m sure there’ll be some rational explanation.”


For a moment he really believed that but in his heart of hearts he knew…as part of him had always known: there is simply something magical about Christmas.



Saturday, 5 December 2020

A bunch of Christmas Thoughts 2020 Dec 5th


Always gallows humour in our family 




Lard-arses of the world unite

your Christmas puddings set alight

lift the spoon slowly to your chops

stay well clear of the Christmas shops

Hark the Herald angels sing

you have to die of some damned thing!


 

Friday, 4 December 2020

A bunch of Christmas Thoughts 2020 Dec 4th -- Window Dressing

 And still on the theme of shopping, it is upsetting to see so many stores going to the wall these days, some through the negligence of greedy owners though it will all be blamed on Covid 19 and they will undoubtedly move on with their money intact whilst thousands of their employees face a grim Christmas to come. In a truly robust economy, in a society that had the wellbeing of its people at the core instead of the wealth of just a few, Covid 19 would not have wrought the economic damage it has and still will. 

I can only echo Shelley's Masque of Anarchy from within my Covid mask.

But there is one store I always associated with childhood Christmases, toys, sweeties and more. It was always lit up and Christmas, shelves full of everything under the sun, dreaming of white and having a merry time. I remember the smell of the wooden floors and the pick&mix. Unfortunately it went bust about a decade ago and for similar reasons. We all loved it, we all needed it and I for one miss:


The Wonderful World of Woolworth

by Oonah V Joslin

We never went out without going in.
Aisles walked more religiously than church,
it was another place
to ‘not show mother up.’

Good girls got sweets.
Miss I Want, got a smack.
Once I got lost and cried.

Bobby socks for school,
pencils, colouring books,
a plastic ‘Chad Valley’ Bassett Hound that squeaked…

I bought one final thing there
just the other week
Prince Caspian. And now I can never go back.

We always got what we wanted there
a walk round Woolies
which in its day, was mammoth.


My second poem today was also published in The Pygmy Giant in 2009. This slide into economic oblivion has as you see been happening for a long time. Money remember is but a promisary note -- and when people at the top are liars, it's a false promise! 

Going with the Flow


I think you can bank on getting weird stuff

about banks going bankrupt and times getting rough

in the overall market, an underground stream

of nothing financial being quite what it seemed,

sluggishly flowing, grinding to a halt;

the little man suffers though it’s not his fault

and the rivers of mammon are all running dry

but still people follow without asking why,

dependent as sheep on a landslide they stand

with despair in the heart and a lie in their hand.


TPG 2008






Thursday, 3 December 2020

A bunch of Christmas Thoughts 2020 Dec 3rd -- Making a List, Checking it Twice...

Of course there is some shopping we all have to do. Most of ours these days is done online and by delivery and I would just like to say that dairies, bakeries, butchers and grocers, the supermarket shoppers and delivery men have done us proud this year! Huge thank you to all who have come to our door bringing what we need with a cheery smile and a kind word.


To those of you who go to the supermarket in person, and especially at Christmas, my advice is that a shopping list is essential and I always make one -- although I don't always remember to take it with me and -- Well read all about it 😁 True story!

The Customer's Always Right 


Lists are my habit.

I go to the store

armed with a list

so I'm always sure

to get only the items

that I really need.


I stand in the aisle

checking my list

tick fruit, dairy, store-cupboard,

so far nothing missed;

drinks, frozen, household,

I push on with purpose

past the disarray

of others' – indecisions.

I observe them with dismay

and superior derision,

smug in my superiority of vision.

Who didn't bring a list today?


I arrive at miscellaneous,

a category I've devised

for those unaccustomed items

one occasionally buys.

I stop and stare

at the scrawl on my list.

What the hell does that say?

Am I mad?

Was I pissed?


Well – the paper is wrinkled and scruffy at this stage.

And my writing's becoming less legible with age.

And my eyesight is not what used to be.

If I put on my glasses I'll read it easily.


So I fumble my glasses onto my face and squint.

I had to need this

what-ever-it-is.

Could it be clothes prop?

or chocolate biscuits?

No the first word's too long and the second's too short

Selectable progs?

Delectable hogs?

Eclectic drops?

and I think and I squint

but I have to abort.


At the check-out the assistant asks politely

Did you get everything you wanted today?


All except for the electric frogs, I say.


Excuse me?


You don't seem to have any electric frogs!


I show her the item right there on my list.


Electric frogs, she reads. Do you know what it is?


Not a clue. I answer.

But I looked and looked and you don't have any

so I have a good mind to complain to the manager!





Wednesday, 2 December 2020

A bunch of Christmas Thoughts 2020 Dec 2nd -- Never the Same Old Christmas

 60 years ago, Christmas would never be the same again.

It was 1960. Our father had died in January of that year and so it was the first Christmas without him. I was 6. And I have to confess I don’t remember Christmas 1959 – so that as they say, is that.

But I do remember that Christmas, the woman next door, who never gave us presents before, came bearing gifts. Mine was a little hexagonal shaped pink plastic bottle containing rose scented bath crystals and I felt all grown up.

And I was all grown up! I had learned something very important during the course of that year and that is that no Christmas is ever the same, no year is ever the same, no day is ever the same. I’ve not always chosen to use this enlightenment wisely. At its best, it makes every day a gift. At its worst it makes life unbearably sad. In between there’s empathy. On the one hand, I don’t tend to take people for granted. On the other, I do have a tendency to keep people at a distance. Always I am thankful for the Now.

So before you rush out of lockdown to buy things you don’t really need, think about Covid and what that trip to the mall might actually cost. Stay safe. There will be other Christmases to come and I guarantee, none of them will ever be ‘the same’.


This Christmas will not be the same

as other Christmases have been;


accustomed dinner, same bright tree,

the usual drivel on TV


no extended family,

just thee and me,


glad to be here

as every year.


This temporary discontent

created by the media


rapacious grasping for more things

in case we think of birth or death.


So many people lost this year.

Carolling a waste of breath.


In silent night, I breathe a prayer

for the innocent.


No Christmas is the same

as other Christmases have been.

© Oonah V Joslin 2020




Tuesday, 1 December 2020

A bunch of Christmas Thoughts 2020 Dec 1st -- I Light a Candle

 We tend to eat by candlelight during December. Usually I buy one of those with the days marked off, to burn down each evening. It never really works all that well. Either the candle burns too quickly or too slowly. This year I didn't get a candle because I haven't been shopping as such. But I have a little glass Christmas Tree behind which I can place a tealight and I am using that on our table this year. 



It's strange how many useless traditions we observe regarding Christmas, as if it is more than one day, as if it's all about food, as if it is all about  (eherm) the economy! This is how we have been conditioned to think. There are so many gifts we can give that are worth so much more. Clothes we don't need to charities, food to the foodbanks, some time, a smile, a laugh, a poem. This year nearly all my gifts were masks to protect my friends and loved ones. The money will be helping a charity. And it's the nearest thing to a hug I can give them. They all know I don't like hugs anyway. 


I Light a Candle


I light a candle.

There’s no need

except a desire for flickering

warmth and dancing fire.


I light a candle;

watch the primal

space that is infra-red

with scientific detachment.


My candle is not tallow

spermaceti or beeswax

but a hydrocarbon

by-product of ocean-bed long dead;


not very romantic,

not very devotional.

I will mark off

feast days in candle hours


invest festive emotion

into each illumination;

invoke times past

and eke the darks days out


with thoughts of

loved ones gone

and loved ones far

and near. Year on year


I light a candle.

There’s no need

except the heart’s deep yearning

for some ancestral hearth.