Send me poems.
In the meantime here in the Uk a lot of us look forward to a TV extravaganza called SPRINGWATCH -- a wildlife program that celebrates hatchings and hoppings and the general juice that is SPRING. I imagined the animals would be getting ready for that too -- some of them a bit excited about being on't telly so to speak -- so I wrote wee story I hope you will enjoy.
Wood shed liveby Oonah V Joslin
Mouse had been outside foraging and came back all excitement and fuss. He had news he couldn’t wait to tell; so much so that his whiskers were twitching and his tail just wouldn’t behave. It ripped right through the mend that spider had just made in her web.
“No consideration!” spindled spider.
Mouse took no notice. He didn’t understand spider anyway. She spoke a little too quick.
“Where have you been all this time, Mr Mouse,” his mate scolded. “You were gone so long, I was worried!” “Never mind that. I’m back now, and I got what you wanted.” He dropped a nice bit if bread in front of her. She was pregnant again and he knew she was fond of a nice bit of bread. “But oh, Mrs. Mouse,” he spluttered, “you’ll never guess!”
“No I won’t,” said Florrie Mouse, “and most likely never know either unless you calm down and tell me, Mr. Mouse.”
“Fox told Sparrow and he told me, those people who were here last year filming the cubs have set up cameras right here in this shed. We’re going to be on TV!”
Florrie immediately began grooming. “Oh Mr. Mouse for shame -- and look at the state of me! All fat and bedraggled.”
Toad was Zen about winters. Winters made him lethargic and really one didn’t want to do too much other than breathe in and out. Mostly he slept. The rest of the time he pretended to be asleep but he was conscious of almost everything going on around him. “T V you say? Cam-er-as?” he croaked in his slow drawling voice.
“Yes. Fox told me. Isn’t it exciting?” affirmed Mr. Mouse, skittering around.
Toad really wished mice wouldn’t do that, it was exhausting. “I hope they get my best side,” grunted toad. He was an ugly old devil but he had his vanity.
“You have a best side?” said Florrie settling down.
“And there you’ve gone and ruined my lovely web!” spider complained, frenetically trying her best to repair the damage. “I may have to begin it all over again.”
“What’s up with Spider?” asked Mr. Mouse.
“Says you wrecked her web with your tail,” said toad very deliberately.
“Didn’t mean to. Tail takes on a life of its own at times. Please do apologise to her for me, Toad.”
“Says sor-ry,” Toad told Spider.
“Oh well I expect I shall have to manage. Maybe I can make an even better web for the cameras.”
“Don’t know why you’d bother,” chipped in Armadillo Vulgaris. She and her friends had gathered in a puddle in the corner beneath the leaky the roof and were drinking water with their bums – a neat trick common to all wood lice. “Probably don’t like spiders anyway.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, AV,” Spider said. “There are lots of arachnid fans out in TV land and even when they don’t like spiders, most humans appreciate webs – it’s both and art and a science, you know and I am told they have one as wide as the world!”
“I still don’t see what all the fuss is about,” said AV. “I mean TV? I ain’t never seen TV!”
“Oh but I have,” said Mr. Mouse. “I got into the house once and the humans were watching this little box much smaller than a shed yet it had a whole world inside, bigger even than the garden.”
“Well, I never,” said toad.
“And Fox told Sparrow that because people had watched him on TV, they actually feed his cubs for him these days instead of chasing them off.”
“Well then, you never know, AV,” said Toad, “maybe some of them could even think you absolutely charming and not stamp on the next woodlouse they see! Anyway I like you. In fact why don’t you and your friends come over here and let me see how pretty you are?” He flicked out his tongue and gave a low, toadish laugh. “Now,” says he “where’s that camera?”